It's so much easier to write anonymously...but I'm known personally by many of you. 

You know most if not all my flaws, my blemishes, my sins.

If there is one thing most of you know...I'm unashamed...I'm bold...and I'm fearless...to the point at times of being controversial, in your face or opinionated. (silent laughter...inside family  joke!)

What you don't know, is what it took to form this heart in me. 

It took years in the desert. Years of being voiceless. Years of fear. 

I sit here in the quiet of this morning...alone. The Hired Hand has run an errand...and I can blare my worship music...and listen as God speaks to my heart. I can sit here and let The Holy Spirit have his way with my fingers.  

Have you ever felt like you are dwelling in "the valley of dry bones"? As I'm writing this...I'm reminded what God told his man of old...Speak to those dry bones! Tell them to come alive!!! Be bold. Speak truth.

I believe as we proclaim truth, the liar must flea. 

Friends...I do believe our time is short. I believe the church of Christ will be snatched up like a thief in the night. He's coming to remove us from this world. It's time to get your hearts ready..."Stay ready so you don't have to get ready." Chuck Swindoll

The Lord has been showing me things...things that are not for the weak of heart...things that will cause despair, fear and turmoil. Don't wait. Get your heart ready....NOW.

We celebrated our firstborn's 34th  birthday yesterday as she and her husband awaited the sonogram of Baby Tran.

Our little EuEu will be a big brother in 4 months and my daughter will have 2 under 2....and she thinks she's tired now. 

The 1400 mile distance that we now have between us is heart wrenching for Nana. I weep and she laughs at me. 

God made her to be the Mama of rough and tumble little boys. She doesn't like drama. She doesn't like fuss and muss. She is a very low maintenance girl; capable and smart. She's such a good Mama.

Nearly every weekday morning we video chat during breakfast....that's the only time Eu is still now. Once he's down from his high chair, he's into a million things. 

My plane ticket is purchased for the next trip North to babysit Graham. He called yesterday and his Mama and Daddy have taught him to say....I LOVE NANA!!! Oh my....I'm losing it...big time. He's still confused because he has 2 Grandpa's...boy am I glad I chose the name Nana...plus it's super easy to say at 12 months! 

I find it amazing that God made our hearts to expand greater and greater. To love deeper and deeper. When we think we possibly can't love more...we do. 

If you've known me for any amount of time....5 years, 20 years, 50 years....or 60 years, you know that my health and my weight have been an up and down journey. Mostly up. Mostly down. 

I've been "sick" since 1970. That's a long time.

​A very long time. 

I'm convinced that I contracted Lyme Disease and most likely Erhlichiosis when I was 13. Mom took me from doctor to doctor. They knew there was something wrong with my kidneys but back then, I'm not sure they even knew Erhlichiosis hit the kidneys...and for sure there wasn't even a name for Lyme until 1971 when the first child was diagnosed in Lyme Connecticut. 

I was finally diagnosed with Lyme in 2000, but not tested for any of the co-infections until 2006 when my entire system crashed after receiving 3-4 vaccinations to go to India. I'd also been diagnosed with Epstein Barr Virus twice in my early life. All that combined created a cesspool in my DNA.

..................................................

Since arriving in Texas two years ago, my life has taken several paths to not just conquer my health but to get to the root of it. I figured if you get to the root of anything you can yank that root up and throw it in the fire! But have you tried to pull the entire root of a very strong plant? Dandelion? Bull Nettle? 

Usually the root breaks off and the plant grows again...only to be a thorn in your side. 

All these years....47 to be exact, I've been shooting at a target blind folded. 

You can't imagine...or maybe you can....how much I've prayed about this...prayed for healing...prayed for wisdom.

My entire adult life...I've been a Foodie! This blog...my old blogs...always circling those wagons back around food!!!

I've prayed more than most about what to eat....not just giving thanks, but asking if I should eat this....asking the Holy Spirit to show me what and how to eat. 

Seriously...most people just shove food in their faces and never give it a second thought. Me? I'm constantly struggling over food...do I eat this or not? Do I eat meat or do I just eat veggies? Do I eat healthy fats or no fats? 

WHAT DO I EAT?????

My thoughts always go back to:
​
Proverbs 3:7 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

Isaiah 55:2b "LISTEN, LISTEN to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." (fare is food!!!)

1Timothy 4:4-5 "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with Thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer."

Suddenly one day...and frankly I cannot remember how...but I do believe when the student is ready the teacher will come. Out of nowhere, a book dropped in my lap that I'm praying is going to change my life....next to The Bible.

​

I decided to let 23andme run my DNA and then I downloaded my raw data into a program Dr Ben wrote to spit out the information in a readable form for us to understand....because frankly, this is all WAY over my pay grade!

What I found is life changing....and I mean life changing!!!! 

The reasons behind my family of alcoholism, the reasons behind weight struggles, the reasons behind depression, the reasons behind anxiety, the reasons behind food allergies and sensitivities, the reason it's hard for me to fall asleep, the reason why I am a 1 cup of coffee girl and a 0 alcohol girl....the reason behind why I am who I am!!!!

I can't tell you how excited that made me!!!

It's not just more pieces to my puzzle...it is my puzzle! It's the form in which to put my puzzle together.

The book mostly addresses 7 mutated genes....of which I have 6 out of 7 and the 7th is dirty but not mutated. And that particular gene...the DAO is a great portion why I have food/histamine intolerances.

Prior to even finding this book I started CRAVING meat after being vegan for almost 2 years. 

I asked hubs one afternoon if he wanted to go out to eat because I just had to have some Salmon. And being vegan there wasn't much meat in our house. I had to have some Salmon! 

Of course he'd been deprived of eating out for over 2 years...and he jumped for it!!! YES!!! YES!!!! LET'S GO!!! NOW!!!

............................................
​I know most of you are just laughing because poor Bob has had to live with all my life experiments...I mean experiences! 

Gosh that man loves me! He has put up with SO much in 36.5 years!!! Ain't love grand!

He has listened to me and adapted his own way of eating to gain better health....he struggles with migraines and is always trying to figure how to eliminate them from his life...he's getting closer and closer using diet and nutrients. He's down to 145! That's always been his goal weight for 36 years!

I am SO glad I listened to the Holy Spirit when He said....EAT SALMON! 

Because one specific gene snip (snps) can only be helped with SALMON!!! Salmon fulfills nearly every single nutrient this gene (the MTHFR gene) needs! I eat Salmon now at least once a week. And I use the app Chronometer (upgraded) to track my intake for the day and to keep me on target for nutrients and staying in ketosis.

I'm not just eating Salmon, but I'm eating ALL meat and healthy fats....grassfed or wild meat, free range eggs, goat cheese, coconut oil, ghee....all as clean as possible. I have to do a lot of drop shipments....but heck, that saves on impulsive purchases! 

My neighbor gave me two big blocks of this gorgeous sausage....it's from Barbary Sheep. OMGoodness is it delicious!!! 

My plate is still filled with veggies. A lot of veggies! 

I work at finding what foods help me fall asleep and stay in dreamland. Dr Ben Lynch recommends a high veggie carb before bed....so it's usually broccoli or butternut squash with a fat. Otherwise he recommends a Keto Diet for cleaning these genes ...mostly the MTHFR gene. I keep my carbs below 25% daily and my fats are higher than my proteins....it's all learning how to wash and scrub my dirty genes!

I drink BulletProof Coffee....again....oh yes, none of this is new! My coffee is my breakfast for 3 days a week when I do intermittent fasting. I fast from 5:30pm to about noon the next day....and I only do this 3-4 days a week. Intermittent fasting has been shown to force the body to create new cells faster. I'm all for that! The gut can be remade in 7 days...that's awesome!!!

BulletProof Coffee is taking strong black coffee putting in the blender with a scoop of collagen, a teaspoon or more of butter/ghee and MCT oil. It's like drinking a healthy Latte! SO good with a dash of cinnamon too!

I'm reassured that "there is nothing new under the sun." Thank you Solomon!!! That makes me feel better!!!

​

 July 2016 I weighed in at around 167 size 12/14 and no matter what I did...I couldn't drop 1 pound my health had tanked
I'm now weighing in around 125 and wearing a size 6! 

I think I heard Dr Mark Hyman say, when the body is healing the weight will follow. I totally agree. It's taken me 2 years but it's also taken me 2 years to really begin to heal....and to rethink like a thin person.

I believe the unintended consequences of not eating meat for most part of 2 years was the strain it put on my brain. When I crashed in March 2018, it was mostly all in my brain. The only reason I did start to feel better on a vegan diet was because I ate a lot of leafy greens and veggies....they fulfilled what my MTHFR gene needed, but when my focus shifted to Dr McDougall's method of eating mostly potatoes, being a Starchavore...CRASH LANDING!!! One very comforting fact is that people like Drs Mark Hyman and Ben Lynch also ate a vegetarian diet. No one can be faulted for trying to improve their health. I'm grateful God has never given up on me.

Once I added meat and fats back into my diet, my biggest "fear" was gaining weight again....but after a month of eating mostly a Keto type diet advocated by Dr Ben Lynch for cleaning up my dirty genes...I've continued to drop weight at about 1 pound a week.

​Although weight was never my goal...it is the cherry on top...I cannot lie!!!

.................................
SO, here we go again...another journey to restore my health. Now, I'm truly eating to fit into my GENES!!! 

I love my genes!!! ;)

No one could ever of prepared me for this JOY!

I'm talking about the JOY of being a Nana!

It's an incredible feeling to have this tiny creature get so excited at seeing you. Filled with an unconditional love for someone they mostly just see on video chats. 1400 miles never seemed so far!

Thirteen months ago I would never of guessed this little guy would steal my heart like he has. I was blessed to go to Nana Camp last month and do my solo Nana hazing for 3 days!!! He's such a great baby, we did great! 

Eat
Sleep
Play
Repeat

We played bucket head! He's so entertained with anything and everything. 

I arrived during the perfect storm....our daughter is expecting baby #2 in January, they bought a house and their condo was basically 99% packed with a move date 3 days after I left. So EuEu and I made due with playing with the fruit bowl, pots and pans and the colander! 

He's very easily entertained....making a great first born. He's going to be a wonderful big brother!

I threw this tractor in my suitcase because every little boy needs a tractor. 

If it fits it ships...FREE on Southwest!!! (BTW I made another new girlfriend on my latest flight! Jane lives in College Station! Just like my dad, I've never met a stranger!!!)

Graham came to see Nana for a few hours before they headed to the Ocean for vacation. 

I didn't even get my suitcase unpacked before Graham's daddy asked if I'd come back and help with him in September while Nanny is on vacation. 

Of course! Southwest LOVES us!!!

Nana is just getting tired of flying....I NEED a vacation that doesn't involve driving or a plane!!!

This morning before I even got out of bed or dusted the sleep from my eyes, I was reading Gwen Smith's post "I'm Needy When It Comes To Love". 

How many of us aren't....needy for love.

I surely am. 

********************************************************************************************************************************************

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

The part of this Scripture that hit me right smack in my heart in my wee hours of waking up was.....to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge....THAT YOU MAY BE FILLED TO THE MEASURE OF ALL THE FULLNESS OF GOD!!!!!

WOW!!! That blew me away....Filled to the Measure of the Fullness of God!!! 

That's enough for me to chew on for weeks if not months! 

If I'm filled with that measure then my need for any other affirmation will be diminished. It won't be that I don't need to know others love me, it's just that I KNOW this measure of the fullness of God....that will be enough to keep me safe, warm, needed, loved. 

If this text isn't enough....the following verses are the jet fuel of my Spiritual Life! His power at work within me.

********************************************************************************************************************************************

Being a creative right brain isn't something I chose, it's who I am..it's who God made me to be. For those of us born this way, it's like needing to breathe.

I have adjusted fairly well here in East Texas. It most definitely has it's challenges. Like not having a studio space to create. I usually handle it ok and just go to the garden...but it's gotten REALLY hot now...SO.... the other day I had a melt down. I cried out of sadness...because I've just got to create something! Frankly, I'm tired of doing it in the kitchen! wink wink!

Hubs is so good to me. He sat down and made up a list of all he needed to put an AC unit in his big garage workshop...it was already here and is massive in size...you can drive an RV into that thing! He picked all that up yesterday and will get started soon. This is why The Shepherd's Studio is taking so long...there's always something else needing to be done. But it's coming along. 

Now I can start to do some reupholstery projects on some furniture I want in my studio. (Yes, there is going to be a seating area for friends to gather to create with me! Or for Bible Studies or Home Group...whatever God wants to do with it...it's His.) I bought these great chairs from a friend. They have good bones and just need some TLC! And we brought an old sofa from Maryland that I just love so,  I'm going to use simple neutral linen.

​
It's been WAY too long since I've taken time...mostly because I don't have a space to spread out. I have to get everything out an put it away (at least what I can find...many boxes still unpacked in the garage waiting for the move over to The Shepherd's Studio). 

Getting these girlies out of my head is necessary....they're screaming...LET ME OUT!

I did some of these for our daughter. She wanted them for our little EuEu's 1 year memory book. 

I get my inspiration from life around me, from creation and from other artist. I never "copy" another artist, but allow it to inspire my own creative juices. When you do steal...Steal Like An Artist...and ALWAYS give credit where due!

After all....There is nothing new under the sun!