This morning before I even got out of bed or dusted the sleep from my eyes, I was reading Gwen Smith's post "I'm Needy When It Comes To Love". 

How many of us aren't....needy for love.

I surely am. 

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The part of this Scripture that hit me right smack in my heart in my wee hours of waking up was.....to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge....THAT YOU MAY BE FILLED TO THE MEASURE OF ALL THE FULLNESS OF GOD!!!!!

WOW!!! That blew me away....Filled to the Measure of the Fullness of God!!! 

That's enough for me to chew on for weeks if not months! 

If I'm filled with that measure then my need for any other affirmation will be diminished. It won't be that I don't need to know others love me, it's just that I KNOW this measure of the fullness of God....that will be enough to keep me safe, warm, needed, loved. 

If this text isn't enough....the following verses are the jet fuel of my Spiritual Life! His power at work within me.

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The video below was the most helpful video I've watched in the last few weeks. It totally explained SO many reasons why I feel the way I do and what the heck is wrong with my body. 

The first alarming fact is....STRESS is cumulative!!! Holy Cow! Then why aren't we all smashed out on the floor...dead from it!!! It actually shows me how amazing a body God created; that it can handle a lot of stuff before it just cries....UNCLE! 

One of the most troubling facts was the weakness in my legs...more specifically my thighs....although I must say that knowing, is half the battle. They feel like I'm 90 years old when I get up. Even though I've been doing squats for several months and I've seen NO improvement....this would explain why. They are atrophied. 

I've also had very high plasma Ferritin for the past 2 years. My doc believed it was due to inflammation caused by the MCAD (Mast Cell Disorder) but I now believe it is caused by Adrenal Fatigue that's been plaguing me for a good 2 years at least that has caused the inflammation. I do remember when I started to get so very tired....after my last battle with anaphylactic shock and having to use the Epi-Pen....filled with epinephrine. Then the Paramedics usually pump me full of Beny and in the ER they pump me some more!. It's ugly!!! Really ugly!!! Then we lambed and that nearly killed me....really. Having the farm just became more of a heartache then it was fun. The work was more then 1 girl can handle on her own....especially when she is nearly 60!!! So last Fall, I sold my sheep (mostly gave them away) and let it all go....it was really a very sad time, but now that I look back, I knew I had to. I knew I was SO tired. The kind of tired sleep doesn't fix. We call it burned out....and literally it is...your adrenals are burned out.
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Really. It's a no wonder.

For now, until I see the Bio-Identical Doctor in a few weeks....this is what I'm doing to keep my head above water as I tenderly love my adrenals back to life.....yes, I do believe that the adrenals can be recovered....I know many don't....but I am not of that mind set.

STRESS in our lives is only going to get worse before it gets better.  Did you know, retirement and moving are right up there at the top of the STRESS chart with death and divorce! Yeah, soooooo I've got a ways to go before I can sit back on my porch in Texas and drink (unsweet) tea! Although, I'm tempted to find a quiet spot at the beach and soak up the sun after The Farmher's Daughter's wedding in less then 3 weeks! Ahhh!

• My Routine To Heal Adrenal Fatigue

*NO Caffeine
*NO Sugar
*Eating a well balanced diet with healing fats, proteins and carbs and that means consuming enough calories to get my metabolism off the ground floor and working again....I think that will come with the adrenals...but what do I know...it's all over my pay grade!!!
*Sleeping 7-8 hours every night
*Using Supplements for Sleep; 5 HTP, Melatonin and Melatonin Blend with Gaba (others I can't think of cause...cognitive ability is impaired!)
*Using Supplements for healing MY body which includes Adrenal Glandulars
*Drinking an organic tea blend infusion (steeped at least 20 minutes) of Ashwagandha, Rhemania, Holy Basil and Licorise to heal the adrenals
*Drinking Golden Milk using Synchro Gold Elixir, coconut milk and honey to help with inflammation
*Using Essential Oils: Positive Energy™ & Sleep Tight™ by Anada Apothecary, my own blends during the day for calming, well being
*Watch very little News....if I can't get it off the computer in 5 minutes then it's not worth the energy
*Tapping
​*Prayer & Meditating on Scriptures
*RESTING
*Love Myself

"When you don't move the mountains I need you to move.

When you don't part the waters I wish I could walk through.

When you don't give the answers I cry out to you.

​I will Trust In You."

When our son was a little guy...he's anything but that now.....he would tell me that when he read or thought he saw pictures and saw the words being spelled out in his little head. 

I know now that is a sign of a GENIUS!!! :)  Because I do it too!!!! :)

When I chose my WORD for 2015 I was drawn to; Intention. In January I gave that word a lot of thought. Here we are 6 months into the New Year and I must confess the word "Intention" doesn't always cross my mind, but living with purpose does....daily! And living with gratitude and JOY does...daily!

We are all faced daily with people who want nothing more then to draw us down into the mud pit they live in. We live so much of our lives today in Social Media and reading or writing blogs; sometimes uncovering the ugliness that lies within, sometimes living a lie, sometimes fearing the masses.

We can choose to embrace a life that is filled with gratitude and JOY even in the midst of such ugliness. It really is our choice.

I recently joined a few FB groups for Mast Cell and Histamine Intolerance only to find mud slingers and naysayers! Finding those who are content being sick and want nothing more then to have you join them. I realized early on that if I were to stay on my path of healing it would be by embracing others who were positive and lived with intention. I also realized early on that I may bow out because the negativity can kill a joyful healing spirit.

And so I did!

Early in my Lyme diagnosis over 15 years ago (although I was sick for over 30 years), I also realized this same truth. I chose to heal in spite of the naysayers and haters. I chose each day to walk in wholeness. I chose to heal in spite of doctors who wanted to medicate with Rx instead of Food....who called Lyme, Depression when they didn't get what THEY wanted! And each day as I put one foot in front of the other and I chose to live a grateful life of intention!!! 

And so I did!

Then one day I woke up from the long slumber. I realized that my life was dusty! I realized I was walking in wholeness and health! It just happened. Seriously! My mind was restored. My energy was restored. My life was restored. 


Granted I'm now dealing with what is probably the aftermath of Lyme & 3 co-infections: Mast Cell Activation Disorder. But the day to day confused killer sickness of Lyme and friends was gone.....just not there! My liver had taken a beating from 3 years of Artemisia, but a year of walking in health and continuing to do all that I credited for my wellness (REAL Food, Adaptogen Herbs, Supplements, Acupuncture & Chinese Medicine) I brought my liver and all my body functions back to perfect health!!!! Perfect lab work that made my doctors want to do backflips off their desks! 

I continue to work hard (Hubs agrees....if anyone can fight like hell it's me) and most recently I have met a new face of Mast Cell; Urticaria....HIVES! I wake up and usually have new spots....at first I thought maybe I had bedbugs only on my side of the bed!!! Stripping and washing the bed and setting up the air cleaner to zap them....haha!!! Then I realized that I'd caused a chemical Mast Cell reaction from trying some store bought sunscreen.....I don't use that stuff....really, but I had virgin skin on my back that never sees the light of day and didn't want to blister....trust me....blistering would of been a blessing.....so now my body is reacting daily and I feel like I have chicken pox. A spot here and a spot there....pretty soon we'll be able to connect the dots and have a piece of art!!!


BUT.......

This too shall pass! 

I really do credit living a life of intention, a life of gratitude, a life of JOY and a life of believing God wanted nothing but the best for me that brought me to this place of vibrancy and walking in truth and health daily....whether my body always wants to join me or not....I still put one foot in front of the other and go forward!!!

WHETHER YOU BELieVE IT OR NOT!!!! There is no place else I'd rather be. I'm sure in the end.....if there ever really is an end to our suffering on earth...I KNOW there will be an end to suffering when I am on the other side, I will throw off my grave clothes and dance like no one is watching!!! Until then....I will still dance. 


Each. And. Every. Day. I will put on the mantel of JOY and dance!


(I know there will be some who believe that the Lyme and co-infections are hiding...but the form of alternative therapy I used doesn't allow for that!!! Rife kills....it doesn't cause this pleomorphic disease to hide...it kills...consistent, persistent attacking for years...KILLS, detox rids the body of the dead crap and Chinese medicine brought me in a full circle of healing!.....whether you believe it or not....that is NOT my problem!!!) 


*This is just my story. I am NOT a doctor and nothing I've said is intended for medical advice. Seek out a professional if you need help....PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME TO HELP YOU....truly only you can do this!!!


**We use a Rife EMEM 3...old technology!
*** Dr Zhang's Chinese Herbal Medicine (he's located in NYC and does consults...call him not me!)
**** Adaptogen Herbs (wide variety to heal the adrenals...no one can heal with the adrenals!)
***** DETOX; coffee enemas, sauna (to remove the dead crap...literally!)


PHOTO CREDIT! Thank you Jeanne Vail for this painting that has floated around on the web. You inspire me!

Yesterday, I was driving home from running errands and a song was playing on the radio. My drives are usually very relaxing...I take the backroads, the slow roads, the less traveled roads if possible into the Burbs! I can relax and enjoy creation! And think.