II Chronicles 15:15b
"They sought God EAGERLY, and he was found by them.
​So the Lord gave them rest on every side."

Have you ever wanted something so badly that it brought you to tears? And I don't mean something material....I mean, a relationship repaired, a loved one saved, a sick one healed.

In Sunday School we've been studying the power of a prayerful life. I can honestly say that for the last 20 years of my life, I've lived a prayerful life. I wish I could say that for the past 46 years of walking as a Jesus follower that I sought after Him with a prayerful life, but I did not. I'm not even sure I knew how. 

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

Every New Year I begin with a word or a phrase that I have been especially prayerful over. One that would shape my life in this New Year. A word that defines my life. 

This was my 2016 Vision Board. 2016 was a TOUGH year!!! But EVERY step was bathed in prayer. Bob and I didn't take one step that we hadn't prayed over.....we didn't want a life of regrets we wanted God's best. Oh, there were tears and some passionate feelings involved....hey what can I say, I'm a Strong Hearted Woman!

Looking at that Vision Board brings tears to my eyes....not one thing on it didn't come to pass. It hangs in our closet to remind me of God's faithfulness to us when we choose Him and His will above our own. 

This years 2018 board has been made very clear to me by God. I'm still gathering words and pictures from magazines....and my daughter smacks her head over my stacks of magazines. LOL! 

We've lived in Texas for 1 year now. We've adjusted well to retirement and being together 24/7/365...in fact, we love being together. We like one another's company....I'd choose to spend time with Bob over anyone else, hands down....well, except for maybe the 2 little guys in the photos. My heart explodes when I see them. No one could EVER of prepared me for being a Nana! 

I have spent 15 months asking God repeatedly....WHY here? Why this little poor rural area of East Texas??? WHY Grapeland Texas?

I'm starting to see it....I'm starting to understand my calling in "retirement".  For 46 years of walking with Jesus I have had a heart for the poor. It could be that He made that a part of me because my family went through some very very very difficult financial and personal times when I was in High School. But my heart aches for the poor and the homeless, the sick and the dying. I know what it is to live in poverty. I know what it is to have parents addicted to alcohol. I know what rage and abuse look like from a front row seat. BUT I also know that God does restore the years lost to the locust!!!

Grapeland Texas has moved up from being the poorest county in Texas to being 8th! 

I have no doubt that God uses all of our life experiences to form us and make us into His workmanship. 

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

​I'm sure that's why I had a heart to go to India twice and love on all those little orphan boys...I'd go back in a heart beat, but I truly don't believe God is calling me there. God was preparing me for the works He had prepared in advance for ME to do....right here in Grapeland Texas. Of course you'll never see my name in the papers or the headline news...God forbid that. I just want to make a difference, even if it's in the life of just in 1 child. I've started by volunteering once a week just listening to children at the Grapeland Elementary read. 

Our Sunday School teacher is the President of the School Board and he told us that the Texas prison system determines how many prisons to build by whether a child can read by the 3rd grade. I about broke into tears...my heart broke...I failed 3rd grade...I was one of those statistics! I told him right then and there that when they started up the reading program, I'd be there! There isn't a Tuesday that goes by that I don't sit there with those kids and say in my mind...will it be you. And I vow to not let it be on my watch.

I walk a couple miles about 4 days a week and I listen to Audible books....that way I can get more done! You know, multi-tasking! Two miles and 1 or 2 chapters! 

A few weeks ago I started a book I bought years ago....Own Your Life: Living with deep intention, bold faith, and generous love.  Yep, that about sums it up! That sums up what my heart has been telling me. 

My 2018 Vision Board will be Own Your Life or Intentionality...however that word has been way over used in the last few years...but it still applies. I have many things I'm praying about and all of them will go on the board. You'll see dining tables, you'll see children, you'll see art, you'll see gardens....God can and will use anything in our lives if we offer it to Him as a sweet sacrifice. Nothing is wasted with God. Nothing.

I am very excited to see how God chooses to use me in 2018 as I Own My Life! 

The video below was the most helpful video I've watched in the last few weeks. It totally explained SO many reasons why I feel the way I do and what the heck is wrong with my body. 

The first alarming fact is....STRESS is cumulative!!! Holy Cow! Then why aren't we all smashed out on the floor...dead from it!!! It actually shows me how amazing a body God created; that it can handle a lot of stuff before it just cries....UNCLE! 

One of the most troubling facts was the weakness in my legs...more specifically my thighs....although I must say that knowing, is half the battle. They feel like I'm 90 years old when I get up. Even though I've been doing squats for several months and I've seen NO improvement....this would explain why. They are atrophied. 

I've also had very high plasma Ferritin for the past 2 years. My doc believed it was due to inflammation caused by the MCAD (Mast Cell Disorder) but I now believe it is caused by Adrenal Fatigue that's been plaguing me for a good 2 years at least that has caused the inflammation. I do remember when I started to get so very tired....after my last battle with anaphylactic shock and having to use the Epi-Pen....filled with epinephrine. Then the Paramedics usually pump me full of Beny and in the ER they pump me some more!. It's ugly!!! Really ugly!!! Then we lambed and that nearly killed me....really. Having the farm just became more of a heartache then it was fun. The work was more then 1 girl can handle on her own....especially when she is nearly 60!!! So last Fall, I sold my sheep (mostly gave them away) and let it all go....it was really a very sad time, but now that I look back, I knew I had to. I knew I was SO tired. The kind of tired sleep doesn't fix. We call it burned out....and literally it is...your adrenals are burned out.
​
Really. It's a no wonder.

For now, until I see the Bio-Identical Doctor in a few weeks....this is what I'm doing to keep my head above water as I tenderly love my adrenals back to life.....yes, I do believe that the adrenals can be recovered....I know many don't....but I am not of that mind set.

STRESS in our lives is only going to get worse before it gets better.  Did you know, retirement and moving are right up there at the top of the STRESS chart with death and divorce! Yeah, soooooo I've got a ways to go before I can sit back on my porch in Texas and drink (unsweet) tea! Although, I'm tempted to find a quiet spot at the beach and soak up the sun after The Farmher's Daughter's wedding in less then 3 weeks! Ahhh!

• My Routine To Heal Adrenal Fatigue

*NO Caffeine
*NO Sugar
*Eating a well balanced diet with healing fats, proteins and carbs and that means consuming enough calories to get my metabolism off the ground floor and working again....I think that will come with the adrenals...but what do I know...it's all over my pay grade!!!
*Sleeping 7-8 hours every night
*Using Supplements for Sleep; 5 HTP, Melatonin and Melatonin Blend with Gaba (others I can't think of cause...cognitive ability is impaired!)
*Using Supplements for healing MY body which includes Adrenal Glandulars
*Drinking an organic tea blend infusion (steeped at least 20 minutes) of Ashwagandha, Rhemania, Holy Basil and Licorise to heal the adrenals
*Drinking Golden Milk using Synchro Gold Elixir, coconut milk and honey to help with inflammation
*Using Essential Oils: Positive Energy™ & Sleep Tight™ by Anada Apothecary, my own blends during the day for calming, well being
*Watch very little News....if I can't get it off the computer in 5 minutes then it's not worth the energy
*Tapping
​*Prayer & Meditating on Scriptures
*RESTING
*Love Myself

I'm a dreamer.

I come from a long line of dreamers. 

​Day or Night...it matters not to me!!!

Did you know that God wants us to dream.....he wants to throw open the doors of heaven and bless the socks right off of us!

​He is The Great Dream Giver!!

"Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request."
​I Chronicles 4:10

In The Prayer of Jabez.....God wanted to bust open the borders for Jabez! In fact the Hebrew meaning of Enlarge my Territory/Borders really means.....give me more sheep! (hahaha)

I'm not very good at listening to directions. That's just the honest truth.

When our son was in Kindergarten, his standardized testing came back and said he had advanced "listening" skills....he followed directions very well....OH REALLY??? See, I was his teacher....and his Mum....and well, I knew better. But dang if he wasn't able to listen and follow directions on that test!!!

If I ever have any really important documents that require a signature, I get The Hired Hand to read them....cause apparently, I don't have very good reading skills either!!!!