After we arrived and unloaded our memories, everyone left and I was alone. I was alone in our piney woods filled with sounds of coyotes, wild hogs and bobcats, venomous & non-venmous snakes, scorpions and centipedes...and I think just about every insect God ever created. I was alone with the only people I knew, being 1 mile down the road and whom I'd practically just met. I was alone to unpack 35 years of a life together.
Alone. All alone. BUT.....
(Mexican Bird of Paradise on our property)
"Remember your first love"....Oh how I longed for those days back in the early 70's when I was a young babe in Christ and was soaking up His love like a sponge. Oh how He longs for us to long for Him like that....He will fill us. He will meet us.
I know. Right?
It's been in this place of quietness that I've allow Him to again become my Father, Daddy, Abba, Papa. The One who cares for me regardless of my record. The Papa who calls me to His knee without reserve and protects me in His arms. The One who has always loved me just as I am....even in the ugliness of sin, even with extra skin and wrinkles, gray hairs and stray hairs. The One who has loved me because I am HIS IMAGE! His beautiful daughter. He's teaching me how to love myself....something I've battled my entire life. Battling the voices in my head that have said....if only...
He's teaching me that I am enough.
Most of us didn't have an earthly father who loved us rightly. No fault of theirs....they never learned from their fathers. But still that wounded heart craves to be loved completely and without reserve....from a Father. THIS my friends is the greatest lesson He has taught me in the past 14 months...I'm still learning....learning to just allow Him to love me.
Be strong and courageous God told Joshua, I go before you and prepare the way.
Putting on the full armor of God; the helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of peace, taking up the sword of the Spirit the WORD and the shield of faith....STAND and when you've done everything, stand.
Yes, I was afraid. I'm still afraid. I'm still afraid of being alone....but He's teaching me gently, quietly, lovingly. Because I AM NOT ALONE!
We (Bob, Jesus & me) spend nearly every morning together on our front porch welcoming in the dawn. We study The Word, we chew it up and digest it with our morning coffee. It's a good life here in our Piney Woods!
A year of growing.
A year of loving.
A year of peace.
A year of being content.