Alone in The Piney Woods

Alone

It's been 14 months since we arrived in Texas with a 27 foot U-haul filled with most of our worldly possessions (U-haul #2 arrived later), a car with our earthly valuables, and our beloved family dogs; Jake & Ozzie. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done; purge and pack our 30 year home filled to the brim with memories of our life in Maryland. The home we moved into on our daughter's second birthday, the home where our son was born, the home where our marriage became solid like gold after it went through the Refiners fire, the home where I became a shepherd and care giver of a flock and given insight into God's heart. 

After we arrived and unloaded our memories, everyone left and I was alone. I was alone in our piney woods filled with sounds of coyotes, wild hogs and bobcats, venomous & non-venmous snakes, scorpions and centipedes...and I think just about every insect God ever created. I was alone with the only people I knew, being 1 mile down the road and whom I'd practically just met. I was alone to unpack 35 years of a life together. 

​Alone. All alone. BUT.....

I was alone with God. The Lover of my Soul. The One who pursues me like The Hound of Heaven.

Alone with God & His Creation.
​(Mexican Bird of Paradise on our property)

It was in that aloneness that I allowed The King of Heaven to woo my heart again like he did in 1971. I sat in the quietness of our big woods and it was just me, Jake, Oz and HIM.

"Remember your first love"....Oh how I longed for those days back in the early 70's when I was a young babe in Christ and was soaking up His love like a sponge. Oh how He longs for us to long for Him like that....He will fill us. He will meet us.

I soaked in His creation....yes, even our neighboring zebras, ponies, and other exotic animals!

​I know. Right?

It's been in this quiet place where my Father has been able to reach into my heart and remold it. After 46 years of walking with my Lord, I'd become dry, thirsty, hungry. It's in these quiet times of aloneness that He can speak the softest and can be heard. It's so quiet here in our piney woods, you can hear a pine needle fall. I can hear Him again....I can hear the Holy Spirit as He speaks to me. I hear Him say, "I love you my beloved daughter. Stop chasing something you can never obtain, stop judging yourself and others, don't fear, stop trying and just rest in knowing I am enough for you."

​It's been in this place of quietness that I've allow Him to again become my Father, Daddy, Abba, Papa. The One who cares for me regardless of my record. The Papa who calls me to His knee without reserve and protects me in His arms. The One who has always loved me just as I am....even in the ugliness of sin, even with extra skin and wrinkles, gray hairs and stray hairs. The One who has loved me because I am HIS IMAGE! His beautiful daughter. He's teaching me how to love myself....something I've battled my entire life. Battling the voices in my head that have said....if only...

​He's teaching me that I am enough. 

Most of us didn't have an earthly father who loved us rightly. No fault of theirs....they never learned from their fathers. But still that wounded heart craves to be loved completely and without reserve....from a Father. THIS my friends is the greatest lesson He has taught me in the past 14 months...I'm still learning....learning to just allow Him to love me. 

The view at the end of our driveway!

Just like you, I've battled my share of demons. I've fought valiantly to guard my heart. Not always winning the battle but always winning the war! We are more than conquerers!

Be strong and courageous God told Joshua, I go before you and prepare the way. 

Putting on the full armor of God; the helmet of salvation, the breast plate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the shoes of peace, taking up the sword of the Spirit the WORD and the shield of faith....STAND and when you've done everything, stand. 

My beloved arrived 3 months after he left me here all alone. Looking back, I'd do it the same if I had to. 

Yes, I was afraid. I'm still afraid. I'm still afraid of being alone....but He's teaching me gently, quietly, lovingly. Because I AM NOT ALONE!

We (Bob, Jesus & me) spend nearly every morning together on our front porch welcoming in the dawn. We study The Word, we chew it up and digest it with our morning coffee. It's a good life here in our Piney Woods! 

It's been quite a first year for me as a Texan! 
A year of growing.
A year of loving.
​A year of peace.
​A year of being content.

We are now the proud grandparents of 2 precious boys! "I thank my God every time I remember you."

God is Good!
​VERY GOOD!!!